Paris 1968

May '68 was a political failure for the protesters, but it had an enormous social impact. In France, it is considered to be the watershed moment that saw the replacement of conservative morality (religion, patriotism, respect for authority) with the liberal morality (equality, sexual liberation, human rights) that dominates French society today. Although this replacement did not take place solely in this one month, the term "mai 68" is used to refer to the shift in values, especially when referring to its most idealistic aspects.

The revolution was an intimidating situation, specially for those like me that were residing in a religious institution. The nuns were very frighten and took charge of the iron doors as their most precious possession. The right wing newspaper "France Soir"was situated directly opposite the convent, and most days we had the students and workers sporting red kerchiefs and beret demonstrating outside the newspaper building throwing stones and shouting slogans against the right wing printing press. May 68, also brought to light the issue of celibacy dispensations for priests and nuns.

1962-Pope John XXIII: Vatican Council II; vernacular; marriage is equal to virginity.
1966-Pope Paul VI: celibacy dispensations
1978-Pope John Paul II: puts a freeze on dispensations.

History of Celibacy in the Catholic Church First CenturyPeter, the first pope, and the apostles that Jesus chose were, for the most part, married men. The New Testament implies that women presided at Eucharistic meals in the early church.
Second and Third CenturyAge of Gnosticism: light and spirit are good, darkness and material things are evil. A person cannot be married and be perfect. However, most priests were married.
Fourth Century 306-Council of Elvira, Spain, decree #43: a priest who sleeps with his wife the night before Mass will lose his job.
325-Council of Nicea: decreed that after ordination a priest could not marry. Proclaimed the Nicene Creed.
352-Council of Laodicea: women are not to be ordained. This suggests that before this time there was ordination of women.
385-Pope Siricius left his wife in order to become pope. Decreed that priests may no longer sleep with their wives.
Fifth Century401-St. Augustine wrote, “Nothing is so powerful in drawing the spirit of a man downwards as the caresses of a woman.”
Sixth Century 567-2nd Council of Tours: any cleric found in bed with his wife would be excommunicated for a year and reduced to the lay state.
580-Pope Pelagius II: his policy was not to bother married priests as long as they did not hand over church property to wives or children.
590-604-Pope Gregory “the Great” said that all sexual desire is sinful in itself (meaning that sexual desire is intrinsically evil?). St. Ulrich, a holy bishop, argued from scripture and common sense that the only way to purify the church from the worst excesses of celibacy was to permit priests to marry.
Eleventh Century 1045-Pope Boniface IX dispensed himself from celibacy and resigned in order to marry.
1074-Pope Gregory VII said anyone to be ordained must first pledge celibacy: ‘priests [must] first escape from the clutches of their wives.’
1095-Pope Urban II had priests’ wives sold into slavery, children were abandoned.
Twelfth Century1123-Pope Calistus II: First Lateran Council decreed that clerical marriages were invalid.
1139-Pope Innocent II: Second Lateran Council confirmed the previous council’s decree.
Fourteenth Century Bishop Pelagio complains that women are still ordained and hearing confessions.
Fifteenth CenturyTransition; 50% of priests are married and accepted by the people.
Sixteenth Century1545-63-Council of Trent states that celibacy and virginity are superior to marriage. 1517-Martin Luther.1530-Henry VI
Seventeenth CenturyInquisition. Galileo. Newton.
Eighteenth Century1776-American Declaration of Independence.1789-French Revolution.
Nineteenth Century1804-Napoleon.1882-Darwin.1847-Marx, Communist Manifesto.1858-Freud.
1869-First Vatican Council; infallibility of pope.
Twentieth Century1930-Pope Pius XI: sex can be good and holy.
1951-Pope Pius XII: married Lutheran pastor ordained catholic priest in Germany.
1962-Pope John XXIII: Vatican Council II; vernacular; marriage is equal to virginity.
1966-Pope Paul VI: celibacy dispensations.
1970s-Ludmilla Javorova and several other Czech women ordained to serve needs of women imprisoned by Communists.
1978-Pope John Paul II: puts a freeze on dispensations
1983-New Canon Law
1980-Married Anglican/Episcopal pastors are ordained as catholic priests in the U.S.; also in Canada and England in 1994.

The Catholic church and their princes the popes have over the centuries done and undone laws that have been in most cases unreasonable and unnatural. The nuns and priests in the convent were young and full of life and expectations. They were also surrounded by youth. Being a nun or a priest does not mean you cannot appreciate beauty or desire love and being loved. It is all part of being alive. The prayer routines, the cold environment, the shock of cold water showers and the cilice that some priest wore, would only work for a while, then real life was facing you again with all the temptations and desires.

Cilice
(this is a belt made of metal with spikes that one wears with the purpose of feeling uncomfortable and mortified and hopefully divert sexual desires)

This celibacy dispensations was a God sent message to the priests and nuns at the convent in 1968. Most of the young priests left the priesthood and got engaged to friends of mine residents in the convent. One Colette had actually had a beautiful baby with one of the priests.
The nuns apart from the old ones and the mother superior who I expect feared the outside world stayed put. The rest abandoned the convent and rented flats to enjoy their new found freedom. I met Sor Isabel one day in the street, dressed in civilian cloths, totally transformed into her new life style. She was probably as holy as when she left the convent, but it was by choice.

The convent, myself,Toñi and Sor Isabel mas dos residentes

The priests, apart from Manuel, took to civilian life with joy. Manuel, was a young priest, very good looking, who was either convinced of his principles or he belong to The Opus Dei, I am convinced it was the latter. He did wear the cilice, for one day while at the theatre his thigh was actually bleeding and it spotted his trousers, when I asked him what had happened he confessed the use of the torturous cilice.
The Opus Dei is a powerful organization and I expect he had committed completely making it more difficult for him to default. I hope he had the opportunity of deliverance in later years and managed to escape from the unrealistic ties of the church.

I continued going out with Sacha and going to the Aliance to improve my French apart from working at the reception in the convent. The nuns had a dispensary and treated the poor people of Paris with minor ailments.
One day the police came to see me at my room where I was living with Antonia. Naturally a visit from the police was very shocking and I was very upset. A note was presented to me with an appointment date at the police station in Porte de Choicy. The policeman carrying the message explained nothing.
The next day I took the train by myself to Porte de Choicy station. It was raining very hard and I had taken no umbrella. After a long walk in the rain and several directions I arrived to the Choicy police station. As soon as I entered I was taken through a long corridor. In passing I looked to the left and holding the rails of his cell I saw Sacha. He looked terrible, he had been beaten up. He looked at me in total desolation and I made signs to him questioning why,why?. He simply asked for cigarettes.

I followed this tall policemen through the long corridor until we reached an office. Another sombre looking police looked at me in amazement for I was wet, and I must have looked like a child. I did not wait for questions I demanded the reason for my being there. He was quite for a moment and then exploded with a fist on the table saying, “mademoiselle ici c'est moi que fait le question!”
I was taken aback from his intimating behaviour and sat down in silence. He started asking my name, age? Where have you met Sacha?, What is your connection with him? What do you know about him? I responded and he must have realised that I had no part in his crime and he simply said that I was in his address book and they had to interrogate me, it was routine. All questions and answers were typed with force in his typewriter. On the way out another policeman took me down and we passed by Sacha, the policeman told me quietly that he had stolen from the patients at the hospital. I am not sure he was telling me the truth because for that reason one does no beat a man in the face and make it black and blue.

I arrived at the convent where the nuns and the head priest were in conference waiting for me. The police must have rung them. I was told by the head priest that Sacha was involved in slave trade. I could hardly believe that statement for I had gone out with Sacha for eight months on a daily basis and, if that had been his intention he had had multiple opportunities to kidnap me and placed me in a haren! The head priest demanded that I return to the convent where I would be controlled and saved from him or others like him.

It was now May 68, the Spaniards were taken by especial buses back to Spain. Embassy recommendations for all Spanish citizens living in Paris and France. For me arrangements were made to take a blind nun back to Madrid.During the journey I had many doubts and questions in my mind that I was never going to get an answer to, it was an episode in my life that I had to put behind me as soon as possible.

1968 in Seville with my nephew and niece