Myself in Esher Au-pair´s house in 1965 Tina had looked with a thin comb for a decent family for me and found a family from Argentina Mr and Mrs Stamford. They lived in Claygate in another beautiful house called the Windmill."The Windmill", house is in Claygate near Esher. This family who naturally spoke Spanish was my first contact with other people in a home environment. They were very advanced by my standards. They had two girls of 10 and 11 and a new 8 months baby(another girl).
Here I saw people eating at the table in a different style,(we always ate at a table with good manners, my mother saw to that) children being read stories at bed time, by their father, children being driven and picked from school, children being taken for horse riding lesson and swimming, children deciding what cloths they wanted to buy and wear, children that did not eat apples that had fallen from the trees in our own garden, because they had not come from the supermarket shelf...
I was a child myself and just observed and learned in total amazement. The husband a tall handsome and kind man was an executive in a cigarette company in London. He left early in the morning dressed in a pinned stripped suit and a boiler hat, never forgetting his umbrella. He left early and returned at around 7.00 p.m. By then the children had done a million things with the help of their mother who was totally dedicated to their busy lives.
My duty was to take the baby out for walks, very long walks for I could not come back for at least two hours. So I walked this baby, and saw other people doing the same thing, probably Au pairs from other countries. Some even walked the dog at the same time. Fortunately for me the family had no dog or cat.
(I am not used to having animals at home)
I also attended a school of English three times week, and I had to take the train to Finchillywood at 3.00 p.m. "Can you imagine, me asking for a train ticket to Finchellywood"? I was very lucky because the family really treated me well and did not use me as a domestic ever. I was paid as an Au pair girl, which meant, board and lodging, family integration and three pounds a week.
-Do you know? in this agency my sister took me to, we were given a list of dos and don't s. I suppose some families tried to use the Au -pair girl as a domestic and this agency made sure that that was not my case. I only performed light duties with the baby and the washing up at lunch time, for the house wife, the baby and me. In the evening when I came back from school I found the dishes done drying on the sink.
I was told the father had actually washed the dishes after supper.
-What about that !
I had never seen any man back home doing domestic work, never mind washing the dishes... After my supper I would go upstairs to say good night to the two girls, the baby would be asleep. More often than not the father was reading the bed side story to the two girls. I was shy and had not much to say, so I had never dared to look at him straight, but when I did, I saw him winking. I immediately looked else where wondering why?
-Was it going to be one of those situations like the one Paqui and I has experienced?
I wondered for a while avoiding him as much as possible, until one day I went to use the bathroom and found a glass eye in a glass!!!! -
Well, what is that I thought!!! Then the penny dropped, and I realised he had an eye glass and was not winking at me at all.
-What a relieve, boy, boy!!. I could perhaps relax now. He was very kind and helpful, and at weekends when we all had lunch and dinner together, he made a special effort to teach me some basic words and include me in the family reunions never making me feel an outsider. I am grateful to him too.
The months went by and my sister took me to the dentist to have a dental plate made. If you remember I was walking about with four front teeth missing. The dentist Mr Doelly was very kind. He checked and repaired everything wrong with my teeth and he made me a plate that lasted 35 years. I was also his patients for 30 years until he retired. His ambition as that of many parents was for his son to take over his practice, but his son's heart desire was not dentistry. He became a rock musician.
I was very pleased with my new dental appearance and I suppose I displayed my new smile to the baby. The baby notice something different and place her little finger in my mouth trying to touch the difference. Accidentally I miscalculated and I bit her finger more than I intended. The poor thing cried very loudly, I am sure the mother is still wondering why the baby was suddenly so distraught....
-I could not tell her could I?
I often walked with this baby to see the trains go by. There is a foot bridge in Claygate that leads to the fields over the railway line. I spend hours there seeing this trains coming and going somewhere, currying my thoughts to my mother. Moving trains are nostalgic, for they are going from one place to another while one is static. From there I could see fields and cows grazing. My mother's picture presented it self to me very often. But alas, she was far away and having a worse time than I was caring for that baby.
The thought of political parties, presidents, dictators, kings, and queens and any other powerful person that makes people's life a misery will never cease to irritate me. Working so hard, living so simply, measuring all your needs and balancing every effort did not bring you out of the next day's needs. Human necessities are very basic ; but providing for those very basic necessities can be an excruciating effort that in this wealthy world no one should be put to the test.
I wrote very long letters to my mother and father, my eldest sister was also eager to hear about our survival, and they all cried when reading our news. They never failed to respond asking for our well-being never wanting any thing from either of us. Always offering to us more that they could afford. A year later Tina decided to train as a cook in St Thomas hospital. Her vacancy at the house in Esher become vacant and with much regret I took her position for I was paid more and could attend school for longer hours
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