Tricycle

Tricycle

In our block of flats yard there were always many children playing. Homes were not comfortable as they are now, with TV and central heating carpet on the floor and a settee. We children were mostly outdoors learning social skills and anything else that would be available. One girl had a beautiful tricycle. I was totally amazed by its beauty. This must have shown in my face for the girl that own it allowed me to ride on it for awhile. Naturally, I loved it, I had never seen anything like it. My father´s bicycle was the nearest to it, but I could not climb on that, this one was my size.

A few days later a photographer appeared with his camera trying to capture us in our childhood. He did not ask whether we wanted to be photographed, he just clicked his camera here and there. With the corner of my eye I saw the tricycle lying idle for an moment while its owner was fascinated by the camera and the flash. I instantly thought a golden opportunity had come my way to ("stardom") show off on the tricycle, and without further a do, I jumped on it and smiled. The end result you can see here (above).

My mother was not too pleased when the photographer asked her for the pictures payment, but the damaged was done, she could not resist the picture presented to her with my smile breaking through the paper.

Although I was now 5 years old and my eldest sister 20, my mother felt pregnant once more at the age of 43. These were difficult times and the stigma of an older woman, all be it legitimately, being pregnant, was frowned upon. My eldest sister could not look at our mother in the face. She actually though it was shameful and she herself would have difficulty facing her own friends with such a development.My mother was distraught , she did not want another pregnancy.

Six months earlier, she had been through an episode of backstreet abortion and had almost died in the process. Her aim was to safe money to pay off the debts and recover her house. She had worked very hard and had made many sacrifices to build it. The pregnancy would make this task much more difficult. (she never recovered her house, and my uncle never recovered his investment as the house remained empty until it was sold in the year 2000)

My parents house in Collanzo 1943

Just the same she continued cooking, washing and mending for all those men in order to enhanced my dad's pay and make ends meet. Her demeanour had changed though, I could sense it even at my age. Four children and a small wage, plus the extra money needed to cover my father's expenses at the pub left very little to put aside if any. My sisters made me a beautiful navy blue jacket for my school debut. I was over the moon. I can't remember much about school but I remember wearing my jacket with pride and hanging it on a nail at the entrance hall, ready for the next day.

My sisters being young they noticed how much care I took with my jacket and thought of nothing better than to tease me by stitching a red patch on its back. The first thing I saw next morning when I got up was the flashing cloth that appeared stuck to my precious jacket. I said nothing and went straight to investigate. Perhaps the ugly cloth was just hanging over it. I tried to pull it off, but it was well placed and perfectly secured, "ruined I though". I started crying in desolation for the sacrilege committed to my precious possession. My sisters were standing next to me observing my reaction and enjoying every minute.

My sisters tried to console me by saying that the nail had tore it and they had repaired it as best they could. -"Well that was no consolation, was it?" It only confirmed my fears of total devastation.

They had their laugh and I had a good cry before I received lots of kisses and cuddles. My delight once the patch was removed and the cloth returned to total perfection was part of their reward too.

I also had a very good friend her name was Paqui. We went everywhere together and shared what ever secrets we had. We even kept a big secret that happened to us during a visit to one of our neighbours. There were several brothers in this house, some older than others. One of them Carlos was going out with my eldest sister, much to the dislike of my father, for the family was touched by tuberculosis.

Their apartment was the same as ours with a long glass corridor. Luis must have been over 20 for he was quite tall and wore long trousers. We were in this gallery for some reason when he called us to show us something. Innocently, we obeyed and went to him. He was sitting on a very low stool and appeared quite normal, until we approached him and he showed us his penis fully erected as he must have been masturbating.

Well, we just run holding each other's hand wondering what we had seen and whether it had been our fault.At that age we had never encounter an episode of that nature, and not knowing exactly why, we never disclosed this secret to any one. Paedophiles existed then and will always be there.

Not long after that my father's job came to an end and it was time to move yet again. My sadness saying good bye to Paqui and Ambrosio has not quite left me. You see I keep living things behind. My pet pig, my spade and now my friends Paqui and Ambrosio